11 August 2005

 

Spam or bacon?

"The $286-billion transportation bill is like a rib joint. I know that eating its food increases my cholesterol, but it tastes so damn good!

The national government should be ashamed of itself for voting to build a $200 million bridge anywhere to an island of fifty people. The national government shouldn't use my money to build another freeway named for a dead president or to build Pedal Mississippi! ... er ... Petal, MS a bike path. Let the people in those areas pay for their own projects. We get taxed enough!!

I know. The bill isn't all bad. It will be nice to travel from Visalia to Hanford without worrying whether someone going from Hanford to Visalia is going to hit me while passing that slow semi in the mad rush to make his 3:30 appointment. A four-lane divided highway would be really cool, especially if we can get a little help from the feds! Plus, living here just off 180 is great and I can't wait to be able to go to Fowler Avenue without having to go through that gaud-auful Tulare and Maple intersection!

My congressman is doing a pretty good job in Washington. But, I would like him more if he would get us more money. We're not getting our fair share, and if he would just work a little harder, we would get more. It's not fair!

But how are we going to stop this incessant spending? All these congressmen do is spend loads of money on tons of useless projects. These congressmen just want to get relected. OK, sometimes the project is a good project, but why do I have to pay for it? Why don't the people in their own states or counties or cities have the guts to pay for these projects themselves? Do you think anyone in Houston gives a damn about Fresno ... other than the Texans' quarterback? These congressmen are doing a disservice to our great country!

I'm glad that my congressman isn't like that!"


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